A party fit for MY princess! February 26, 2008

A friend of ours decorated the lawn to welcome all to our baby ANTM’s party! 

  Of course you have to check out ANTM’s crown. 

   This was the set up for the party in the sun room.  Basically they ate there and played EVERYWHERE ELSE!  LOL!  It pretty much ended up being where the parents hung out.

  Staple Boy insisted on building ANTM a shushybye dream train (her theme was SHUSHYBYE Baby – a show on babyfirst TV).  She and a lifelong friend of mine’s daughter looked adorable in it.  I have a feeling that 16 years from now, they will be giving us the same look from the front seat of a car for different reasons.  LOL! 

   Statple boy, ANTM and special cousin T chillin after the guests leave.

  Special Cousin T aids ANTM in her grand exit after the festivities end.    Shushybye and Goodnight!

Why won’t she stay away from my underwear? February 9, 2008

Why won’t she stay away from my underwear?!
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I never thought I would pay for this . . . January 30, 2008

Play therapy.  A whole lot of money per hour for “play therapy”.  Okay, up the up side, staple boy thought it was awesome (his words) and maybe it will help with some of the struggles we have been having – school, home, etc.  On the down side, I am paying a whole lot of money for him to play video games and stuff to talk to someone most likely about how I screwed him up.   Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of therapy, I’m no Tom Cruise.  LOL!  But geeesh. 

Play therapy . . . lawdhamercy. 

Is it a male thing, a kid thing, a bad mommy thing. . . January 18, 2008

My son just won’t stop it with the lying about well, pretty much anything.  I mean for the entire first semester he had his teacher convinced he was born in Germany.  Why?  No reason, just cuz.   When asked about his staples by his teacher, he told er aniron fell on it, and when she asked him how it happened, he said, “It happens all the time.”  WTH?!  I am surprised the authorities didn’t come to my house.  He wasn’t even at home when it happened.  A year or so ago when discussing careers in his class, he told them I worked at Giant.  And the list goes on.

Now one issue that I am sure contributed to it early on is that he and his dad basically have had this us against her thing since before he can remember.  So, things like letting him sneak out of bed, going to fast food restuarants before dinner, and one of the toppers – getting dressed for church, not going and coming home and lying about it right down to my 5 year old telling me who he saw there.   And the list goes on . . .     Mentioning time and time again that this teaches him that lying is ok because among other things if you lie to your momma all the time who can’t you lie to, daddy does it and is often your co-conspiratior, and kids don’t have the discerment to distinguish between “little white lies” and the “big ones”; falls on deaf ears and I am just “over reacting”. 

I am struggling getting little Mr. Creative through grammar school, meanwhile he is earning a PH.D. in Linguistic Duplicity. 

Losing the Wind in your sail . . . January 16, 2008

A little over a week ago, I made a major life changing decision regarding my career.  I was feeling the full rush of emotions you always feel when doing that, like excitement combined with wanting to throw up.  LOL!   But alas, being a wife and mother doesn’t allow you to rest on your haunches for a few moments to savor the moment and once again you feel literally punched in the gut and the wind completely knocked out of you with the latest crisis.  Now, I feel so deflated that I can hardly muster up the energy, let alone the excitement to continue to move forward with my venture despite making a couple of calculated moves (that cost money as well).  I am doing it, but not with the same ferver, the same zeal, and well . . . the same wind in my sail. 

The Marriage Bubble, Single Friends, and other stuff . . . January 5, 2008

This is my first utter.  it grew out of a great conversation I was having with Barrister.  Enjoy! 

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CSI New Years: 3 boys, a closet, an iron, and a head injury January 2, 2008

Well technically the only things we know for sure is that there were 3 boys (ages: almost 4, 7 and 8), an iron (blood was found on the device), and a head injury.  The closet part is still sketchy.  Hell, the who story is sketchy. 

At aproximatly 11:30 a.m. on New Year’s day, my 7 year old cousin comes down stairs and calmly informs the adults that my son (the 8 year old) is “hurt”.  We didn’t hear any crying and he didn’t appear particularly panicked, so my husband and cousin (7 year old’s dad) mosey upstairs to “get the boys in line”.  Within seconds of their arrival, the crying starts . . . LOUD and I know that cry.  Its the “there is an emergency room visit is in your future”. 

So far I have heard that cry 3 times prior resulting in 3 separate ER visits with total of 17 stiches and skin glue . . . all head injuries.  I am pretty sure its because his head is big so he leads with it whenever he falls.  Our ER routine since visit number 3 is that only one of us goes.  The other needs to be home to bail the other one out in case someone finally stops believing our kid’s head is a gash magnet and files abuse charges.

Of course when I yell upstairs asking if he needs to go to the ER, the men are “cleaning” his head an dmaking their own medical assessment.  Mom has to check for herself.  Wel, J’s head was busted, a nasty gash on the left side towards the back above his ear.  The moms determined that he needed to go to the ER.  The dads were ordered to take him to urgent care. 

Did I mention that while all of this was going on the 10 month old was downstairs in her walker trying to reach the Wii controllers?  I guess she figured that since no one was looking, she would get in some bowling.

The fellas were gone for 3 hours.  We later found out that there was a family of 6 with food poisoning causing quite a stir at the urgent care center.  J received 3 staples in his head.  Oh joy, he was supposed to get his hair cut this week.  Great, my child will be a bamma for the next month. 

Meanwhile, back at home, the mommies began investigating.  According to the almost 4 year old (WR) it was all about him with a little amnesia thrown in.  J and the 7 year old (R4) were being mean to him and he’s not sure what happened next but then J was bleeding.  According to R4, J was the architect of his own demise.  J apparently decided that they should hide from WR.  R4 conveyed that he told J that he “didn’t think that was such a good idea”.  The next thing you know, J may or may not have been in the closet and an iron fell on his head.  Mind you, if these three ever mulled over what was or was not a good idea they wouldn’t spend most of their time alternately crying, telling on one another, fighting, and getting into trouble together.  Can you tell how the next umpteen years with this crew is gonna go?  LOL!    Needless to say, we were not going to know what happened from the interrogation.  And no one could explain how an iron that was pushed way to the back of a chest of drawers somehow made its way to falling on J’s head and the cord (which was retractable and inside the iron) being wrapped around clothes in a closet. 

We did find blood on the iron and a sleeping bag.  Not sure how that came in to play. 

J has still not given any straight answers.  Either he is dazed and confused from being smacked on the head with an iron, or they made a pact in the initial coverup phase when I suspect they were trying to fix his head themselves before shock wore off, pain set in, and way too much blood flowed for the disorderlies to handle. 

Happy New Year!  I hope your first day was not nearly as “exciting” as ours.

I’m back and catching up . . . December 29, 2007

Well another holiday season is on its way out.  Am I the only one who feels like it just crept up and really wasn’t all that holiday-ish.  Maybe part of it is that I had surgery right after Thanksgiving or maybe that my son brought home his progress report last Friday before Christmas.   Who knows, maybe its because I just took out my weave and I think I may need to shave my head because after washing and conditioning it repeatedly, it is now has one giant dreadlock in the back that won’t come out.  Whatever it is, I am feeling a little funky.

 

Oh Lawd, say it ain’t so!!!! December 19, 2007

Poor little Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.  The world has stopped turning on its axis, pestilence and famine are soon to follow, the fourth horseman of the apocolypse can be seen in the distance . . . oh the humanity!!!

Hmmm, let me see if I have my facts right here.  She’s 16 and living, working, and partying in Hollywood with little parental supersvision and control.  She is on a hit cable show with money of her own (Also known as, I can do what I want and you can’t tell me Sugar Honey Iced Tea because I make my own money up in here.).  She has additional disposable income and opportunites for everything (good and bad) because her sister rakes in literally millions per month.  The parents have shown questionable judgment, note the image and antics of the aforementioned unnamed sister from the very beginning of her pop career.  She reports being with this “boyfriend”for over 2 years.  Do the math, what active parent thinks that crap is ok, especially when based on the guy’s originally reported age of 19, this mess started when she was 14 and he was 17?  Where is the prosecutor who went after Genarlow Wilson?  Did I mention that she only just told her mother 12 weeks into the situation upon being contacted by OK magazine?

But here is a more important question?  Why do we care?  So many young ladies with far less resources at their disposal “find themselves” in this situation and no one is worried about what will happen to them.  No one cares how their familes or other young ladies they encounter might be impacted.  Their pregnancies don’t spark a debate on whether they should lose their livelihood.  And folks, as far as I am concerned, school is their livelihood and girls get thrown out/re-directed to “special programs” everyday in this country.    I assume, based on Lisa Bloom’s (Court TV anchor, also Gloria Allred’s daughter) vehement defense of Jamie Lynn’s job this afternoon on Star Jones and her easily dismissing the notion that this could violate her morals clause with Nickelodeon, that folks are already gearing up to be on the offensive. 

Now, I don’t consider myself to be conservative or prudish (not that I would apologize if I were) but why wouldn’t it violate her morals clause?  She is a teenager on a network that is geared towards kids and teens, whose primary focus is children’s programing, family friendly programming, and education.  Now, as an avid tv watcher and mom, I have certainly seen my fair share of Nickelodeon.  Do they meet the above-mentioned aims perfectly all the time?  No.  But they can certainly try.  And if she does have a morals clause in place (there is like 0% chance that she doesn’t.  LOL!), as an attorney,  would have no problem defending their right to enforce it under these circumstances.  Don’t get me wrong, I certainly don’t subscribe to the philosophy that little blond girls all over America are going to run and get knocked up because “Zoey” did.  I would like to give our children AND their parents more credit than that.  By the way, I also don’t believe in abstinence only programs either.  Knowledge is power.  Ignorance kills.  While I am using clichés, actions have consequences.  If your job depends on your image or the one you are supposed to promote (as with most television personalities – hence, the morality clauses), you know what you are supposed to do and if you screw that up too bad. 

Right now, her show is reportedly the #1 show on the network and from what I understand, the new season has already been filmed and waiting “in the can”.  The network doesn’t have to care about your children and families.  So, if after they do a little market analysis and guage the public reaction to this, they feel they can maintain their advertisers and viewers, then Zoey 101 will be back and they may even negotiate with her for a post baby, post-pregnancy weight season. 

In the meantime, donate your time or goods to a local program for teen mothers who really need our resources and attention.

Even if you’ve got it, when it comes to your kids, do you flaunt it? December 13, 2007

In light of what I have discussed the past couple of days regarding family dysfunction when resources are apparently limited; I thought I’d add to the discussion a look from the other side. 

I am sure many of you have seen or at least heard of shows like “My Super Sweet 16”, “Platinum Brides” (sometimes the bride and groom have money in their own right but many parents are still paying), “Daddy’s Spoiled Little Girl”, and if you haven’t heard of the latest little gem I found last night “Party Mamas”, check that one out too (WE network).   

 **link to show site:   http://www.slice.ca/Shows/ShowsPage.aspx?Root_Title_ID=105449 

Sometimes the excesses on these shows gets so out of control, I literally have to cover my eyes or change the channel for a while.  And let’s face it folks, I will watch pretty much anything.  Its not just the bling that can be out there, I mean heck there are things that only people of a certain income level can buy, and they use THEIR money to buy it.   (The most recent girl’s grandfather invented Spam, so Lawd knows they have the cash for bling!)    It’s the over the top attitudes, temper tantrums, mature themes (one 16 year old “sweetheart” had a sin theme – yes folks, the seven deadly ones), sexy dresses, potty mouths, and a lack of respect for their parents, “friends”, employees and whomever else crosses their paths that are excesses that should not be tolerated just because of wealth and privilege. 

And “Party Mamas” is about the out of control parents who push good taste and decorum to the limits in the name of having the best blowout that money can buy for their little “angels”.  In this case though, the “Mamas” are determined to be the stars of the party.  On a recent episode, one mother expressed dismay that her son would be the center of attention at his own bar mitzvah and set out to upstage him by taking singing and dancing lessons.  Thank goodness, she didn’t upstage him with her talent, but she will certainly end up being the talk of the town for her lack of it.  Either way the kid still loses his night to his mama.  The mother on the next episode was more concerned about her 10K worth of Halloween decorations being blown down than she was about her stepson totally the car by hitting a tree down the street.  The same stepson also insisted on carrying an authentic looking 9mm BB gun to the party despite protests from everyone including both parents.

When these people watch themselves on these shows are they proud of themselves?  Does it bother them that their kid’s greatest aspiration in life is to be the Paris Hilton or Brandon Davis of Memphis, TN?  Did the mother who’s daughter called her everything but a child of God and all but fell out on the floor when screaming about how her party was ruined because her mother presented her with a custom luxury vehicle the day before the party instead of at the party wonder, “Where the heck did I go wrong, and how can I make this right?”  These are the snot-nosed brats setting the standard for what’s hot and what’s not among American teens?  Sadly, as much as we want to say, “Oh hell no, I teach my kids strong family values, and the value of a dollar,” and the like, our kids are still susceptible as well.  Sure, we can SAY we do the things I just mentioned but then we also do things like run right out and spend way more than we can afford for Christmas on a kid that didn’t even bring home good grades.  (I’m guilty too here, I’ll own it.)  And we not only allow our children to go to the parties, but also turn around and subconsciously find ourselves competing with them when planning our own. 

What do they have to look forward to?  And what will their expectations be?  Can you meet them and if so, then what?  As the young man said last night after his Bar Mitzvah, “I’m sad that its over . . .   And now what, do I count down to my wedding?”

Last year, the young lady across the street from me was having a pretty blinged out Quinceanera (Hispanic15 year old becomes a woman).  Per custom she had the big dress and a full court with girls in matching dresses and boys in top hats and tails (looked like a wedding party).  There was a full camera crew outside with still photographers, video team, boom mikes, the whole deal.  I really did think they were filming for MTV.  Did I mention the stretch hummer?  Anywhoo, I sat on my porch with my baby watching the spectacle unfold, when one of these little angels said nice and loud for my benefit, “MMMMMM, your neighbors are nosy as hell.”  Are you kidding me?!  You are standing on the street at twelve noon looking like a bunch of well dressed clowns about to climb into that hummer monstrosity with a full camera crew and your grown a$$ has the nerve to disrespect an adult you don’t know for looking at you?!  When I was growing up any of my grandmother’s neighbors could have smacked you in the mouth for that.  Now, you get a party.