ANTM Cycle 10 . . . September 10, 2008

is not getting better with time.  LOL!

 

Here’s my view of the top 13:

Isis – Deep fried hot mess on a stick.  Of course you have issues with her face Miss J . . . “She’s a dude.”    I have no problem with her being a dude if she was hot.  But she is not.  So whatever point Tyra is trying to prove is loss in the sauce with this one.   I’ve seen better on Maury.

 

Analeigh – She’s aight in a “I work at Sonic”  kind of way.

 

Samantha – Hooters girl.

 

Hannah – Did she present herself in a way that legitimately caused others to view her as prejudiced?  Of course she did.  Did she pull the typical move that every white girl I have ever encountered that made prejudice remarks pull?  The crying, “OMG, they are horrible for thinking that of me,” move.  Of course she did and of course that discussion took place with other white women who don’t get it because it doesn’t effect them.  (Ok JDen, pull-up you are having flashbacks to being one of only a handful of black girls in your high school and living in college dorms where you were also one of few.)  Stepping off soap box.  I don’t find her very interesting to look at. 

 

 

Nakeisha – Ok, now come on.  I thought the big wannabe Grace Jones lookin’ chick with the bad teeth (Marveta maybe) from a couple of seasons ago was bad, but this girl is  . . . seriously. 

 

Lauren – I find her look weird.  They think she’s hot, guess we’ll be seeing her around for a while.

 

Niki – I love that comment, “Love child of Poisin Ivy and the Joker.”  So true.

 

Clark – Face is very angular. 

 

Marjorie – Just weird.  I guess her picture was cool.

 

Elina – One of my faves.  She does favor Angelina Jolie in her picks.

 

Sheena – The hoochie thing is just funny.  The whole fake boob thing – even funnier.

 

Brittany – She’s beautiful.  Not sure if she is gonna stick around.  Tyra doesn’t seem to like the pretty ones.  I mean the woman actually said she has proven she can make a million $ a year doing catalogs but not top model.  WTF!  That’s probably more than every contestant in every cycle combined.  None of them become TOP models.  Again, she has issues with the pretty ones.

 

Joslyn – Very attractive as well.  The weird baby talking is aggravating.

 

Overall favorites: Elina and Brittany.

You know you want it . . . September 8, 2008

My America’s Next Top Model contestant new season review!  I will post it asap.  I am writing it as we speak.  I started out speechless looking at this latest batch of  . . .  well, you’ll see.  Stay tuned.

Diddy and Aubrey . . . August 27, 2008

artistic differences or lover’s quarrel?

I think the latter.  Once again, I think his behavior lends itself to the rumors.  When you look at how Diddy has handled his other woman problems: JLo, LaurieAnn, now Aubrey, its more like scroned high school girl than business man.

Just my 2 cents.  What’s yours?

BTW Aubrey is hot mess on a stick for real.

(Update) New Dancing With The Stars Cast . . . Seriously August 25, 2008

Are they trying to kill the show.  Check out this list of cows, crows, who’s?, what’s?, and huh’s?

Cloris Leachman – Ok, aside from the fact that she is 82.  She might be one of the only two that I kinda like.  You go Phyllis!

Susan Lucci – The only other one I like.  It makes sense.  Erica Kane on Dancing With The Stars.  Of course!

Lance Bass – Well, after the space debacle, he is the only one that really has no job.  At least the weird little bearded dude is “Goin’ Country.”  Not sure if this will get him anywhere like it did for Joey.  He constantly looks surprised which just weirds me out.  If you can’t get a big career boost from being the gay N Sync guy . . .

Tony Braxton – Can we say Vivica Fox.  I am so not looking forward to the vampy, throaty, half naked, don’t I look hot thing.  Unless she is EXTRAORDINARY (and we have seen her dance –  she would have to make the transformation that Janet did between Dreamstreet and Control) America probably won’t buy it because too many people don’t know who she is and those who do know who she is watch but don’t vote.

Misty May-Traynor – Beach Vollyball olympian.  Again, seriously?

Maurice Green – Track and Field Sydney and Athens.  Hot body but really.  Wasn’t he the one everyone couldn’t stand because he was an arrogant azz who spent time licking his tongue and acting an azz on the medal stands?  I ask again . . . seriously?  He is a brother, maybe he has rhythm.  America was fooled by Emmit Smith’s non-dancing azz.  Yes, I am still bitter about America’s obsession with sports figures taking over my dance shows.  And yes, Jerry Rice and that Taylor dude from last year sucked too.

Cody Linley from Hannah Montana.  Let’s face it, he’s not even Hannah Montana.  People love the Cheetah Girls and that little girl was off the hook and she got the boot.

Kim Kardashian (obviously the “cow” in my opening) - Ok, now this is just wrong.  She is not even a Star.  And can you imagine her making a big deal out of showcasing her booty in those gowns?  Good grief.  She has already cut her toe and has to get special shoes made according to her publicist.  Let’s hope by the time the show starts the producers come to their senses and cut HER.  No matter, it will take care of itself.  Unless she is amazing the older crowd will ignore her and be put off by her shameless trashiness and I can’t imagine anyone else voting for her any more than they would for Paris Hilton.

***************************************************************************

Brooke Burke – Well, I guess when you need a job, you need a job.  It could be worse.  Yeah, Brooke Hogan would definitely be worse.  Yet anothe rperson that will have middle America going “Who?”

Rocco Dispirito – Ok, now I am going “Who?”  And I don’t take that lightly, you know how I loooove my pop culture.  At least he has a real day job.

Ted McGinley – Is there any ABC show they don’t put him on?  They must have him on speed dial.  I still won’t forgive him for what he did to the nerd in “rEvenge of the Nerds.”  Ok, I won’t forgive him for Happy Days and Married With Children either.  He is the Guttenberg of the cast.

“Comedian” Jeff Ross – Clearly the Adam Corolla of the cast.

Warren Sapp – ABC’s determination to convince us that football players can ballroom dance continues . . .

My obsession continues . . . August 25, 2008

Sorry I have been out of the loop folks.  A sista has been dealing with things for real. 

Oddly enough, my obsession with all things trash TV has continued.  LOL!

As they say on VH1, “Watch and Discuss” . . .

Gone Country 2 – Lovin’ It!  I mean really, this is CelebReality gold.  A drunk Sean Young, a bitter Irene Cara, a sad N Sync’er (what the hell is his name), Sebastian Bach, Makayla Gordon (if I wasn’t a faithful American Idol watcher, I would be saying “Who? as well), way past his prime Lorenzo Lamas, and last but certainly not least, the greasiest-headed Jackson of them all – Jermaine “I am so retarded I named my son Jermagesty” Jackson.  I mean really, how could this possibly be bad?  LOL!

Outsiders Inn – Lovin This Too!  Maureen McCormick a.k.a. Marcia Brady a.k.a. Batshyt Crazy has decided to lease a BnB.  She calls upon her friends Carnie “Reality Chunkster” Wilson and Bobby Brown to help her run the BnB.  Does any of this make any sense?  HELL TO THE NAW.  But its awesome.  Carnie is the cook.  Does knowing how to eat qualify you as a chef?  Okay.  Bobby Brown is the director of entertainment.  Now, for the record, I love me some him.  But really has Bobby actually “entertained” anyone other than with his problems since My Perogative?  Well, no matter, throw in this bag of mixed nuts, some moonshine a.k.a. Tater Water, some locals right out of Deliverance, some other C/D list celeb visitors and you’ve got real humdinger of a show.  YeeeHaaaaw!

Queen Bees:  Gold Stars all around!!!  I am a little late to the party on this one, but I am catching up on the episodes.  Think Bad Girls Club for high school girls with a live-in therapist where they take the top “Heather” from several areas and try to change them in to someone we can tolerate.  But they kick them off when they lose to many gold stars.  Last week they threw Peerez Hilton into the mix and one of them ended up being called a younger cracked out Whitney Houston.  Okay granted, even a blind man could see the girl’s weave was jacked, but dayum! 

I Love Money – Yes.  I am still watching.  Why?  I just can’t stop myself.  I need help, you haven’t figured that out by now.

I Wanna Work for Diddy? – Why?  He’s an azz.  I am trying not to watch, I really am.

 Making the Band 4 – Not sure if I will stick with this one.  One word – “Aubrey.”  If she gets hit in the face with an iron maybe.  First episode definitely confirmed to me that the rumors were true about Diddy and LaurieAnn.  Situation jumped off like a lover’s quarrel and seemed to resolve itself as one.  The relationship tension between the two was so obvious, they probably should have edited it better.  But then again him and Kim “that’s my baby daddy” Porter have broken up so he can flaunt his escapade with LaurieAnn without the nagging.  By the way, both bands are booty.  Donnie is worse.  Not sure what is worse than sounding like azz, but if you come up with something, let me know.

From G’s to Gents  – LOL!  Need I say more.

The Hills – I never have, just won’t do it.  Can’t make me even if my eyes are glued open. 

Bridezillas!  – Awesome, gets more awesome every season.  Of course nothing tops the one chick getting left at the alter.  But I am lovin this show.  My 18 month old now yells “Biiiiiidezilllas!”  I don’t know which one this season has been craziest: The bride who was trying to eat herself into a new dress; the bride who wants everyone to be miserable and have a no fun wedding; the bride who got the groom a personal trainer and ate donuts during his training (did I mention she was as big as a house); the bride who quit her job without telling the groom and drives a jaguar and lives in a nasty house that is the brick equivalent of a doublewide; or the bride who told the guests she was gonna put out a bucket for cash at the wedding to reimburse her for the rehearsal dinner.  Its crazy on top of crazy.

Big Brother 10 – Still watching it.  Say what you want, the joint was definitely more interesting with Libra in it.  Don’t know what Ollie is gonna do without April, he has been getting it on the regular the whole time in the house.  Now that his “cuddle” partner is gone, I fear he may just get with the Long Island Troll Doll.

More to come.  Any suggestions?

Today might actually be the day . . . July 17, 2008

when Whoopi finally looses it and slaps the tar out of Elizabeth Hasselback.  The chick wouldn’t shut up.  First, whoopi ends the initial segment in frustration because Elizabeth wouldn’t acknowledge that Barbie looking like a ho shouldn’t have to be the end of the world as we know it.  Then she tries to argue Whoopi into submission about the word n!gger.  Whoopi was pretty much done at that point and just took her simple butt to school so “grandmomma break you down on the back porch about REAL life” that Elizabth began a tearful “we shall overcome” moment.  It was priceless.  I wanted to slap her.  Whoopi basically told her you can’t tell black people what they should and shouldn’t do about that word because you clearly don’t understand where that comes from and acknowledge that everything still isn’t the “same” for everyone.  She calaims that she did acknowledge that and Whoopi came back with “well you don’t sound like you do.”  Woo wee Whoopi!  Joy and Barbara just wanted Elizabeth to shut up and at one point Barbara basically just told her to let someone else talka nd took her to school a little bit too. 

And to think, all of this began because Fox has released some more sound bites from Jessie “mush-mouth” Jackson saying the dreaded “N” word.

Big Brother is back! Discuss BB10 with JDen July 15, 2008

Ok, so its only been a few days, but what do you all think so far?  From what I can tell on the feeds, the old cuz (Jerry) already has some drama going on.  it seems that his initial alliance with the other dood has already fallen apart.  What do you think of Libra (the black woman who has to let you know in her every intro that she is raising Jenny and Allan Willis – for those of you who get that reference you’re my kind of people)?  Do you think she stands a chance or will her whole “I am a diva thing” that she bragged about on the pre-BB10 commercials creeps out and be her undoing in the face of the inevitable alliances between the young cool guys and the best friend clique of the bikini brigade?  What about Roid Rage guy and Dale Gribble’s dad (again, if you get that reference you are DEFINITELY my peeps)?  Is the hagged out hair dresser from New Orleans even worthy of discussion?

ALERT****

Ok, just read some stuff based on the feeds.  Drama jumped off between Michelle, Angie, Libra, and Jerry.  Brian and Dan are definitely doing some major scheming and one of their targets for nomination if Jerry will use the POV to do it, is to save Brian and put up somebody like Libra.  If not, they are going to try to get a tie vote and hope they can sway the house as the drama fester between Michelle, Libra, Angie and Jerry today.  Old man Jerry won HoH and POV.  Go on “old cuz “!(that will be his name for the purposes of my blog).

Some people just don’t have family . . . July 14, 2008

who will tell them when they need to sit down somewhere.  Yesterday, I had one of the greatest afternoons of people watching, a reality show maven like myself could ask for.  The America’s Next Top Model auditions hit Potomac Mills Mall in Woodbridge, VA.  The event was hosted by the CW, of course, and “DC Celeb” (all of his info described him that way, not me) Paul Wharton.

As soon as I heard about this event, I made plans to attend with my little Naomi in training (for real ya’ll, she only likes posed pictures alone and she has been known to slap a mofo with a cellphone). 

A friend of mine rolled to the mall with us and can I say, the event DID NOT DISAPPOINT!  We got there in time for the second hour and a half.  Mr. “Justine Guarini hair in jazz pants” was all-a-flutter and giving instructions.  Each girl had to walk the “catwalk,” give her name, her age, height (minimum was supposed to be 5’7”), and some other little nugget if they chose.  Based on how most of them were even dressed I couldn’t figure out if most of them have even seen the show.  Flowy outfits, baggy jeans, club dresses, sneakers, and hair in the face was just the beginning.  They also were various grades of mis-shaped, not fitting into traditional model size or plus-sized, too short and sometimes a bit too too.  There were women who might be men (and not in a good way), folks with skin so bad you could see it from 30 people deep.  I mean I don’t even know if make-up could help like 2-3 of these women, they might have been burn victims.  And no, I don’t feel bad talking about them.  They were willing to be on TV for public consumption and ridicule (not to mention Tyra’s foolishness), I just happened to catch them parading their delusions at the mall.  There were maybe two girls who got up there making statements about showing the world you don’t have to be a whore or look slutty or whatever.  Have you seen the show?  Have you seen the naked challenge they do every season, sometimes twice?  If hell froze over, the sun exploded, and pigs started flying past your butt and you became a model, what the he!! do you think you will be wearing?  I could go on . . .

Paul Wharton

Luke is still waiting

Wrong show, call Luke

Seriously?

WTF?

Camel toe or Penis?

At the end of the day I have to ask myself:  Who’s fault is it that these girls think they are models.  They were not all amish girls on rumspringa who have never seen TV or magazines and don’t know what the generally accepted standards are.  I am not saying the generally accepted standards of American beauty aren’t problematic, especially given that I am an African American woman, but that is a discussion for another day.  Sure, Tyra definitely makes some questionable choices.  Her whole last season was one big question mark, right down to the winner.  I’m not hatin’ on the big girls, I just don’t think Whitney was the one to hang her hat on making a statement in that department.  Have we allowed our children to become so narcissistic that they don’t know when to sit down somewhere.  Have too many guys trying to get some azz told these girls, “you should be a model.”  I mean dayum, I am all for pumping yourself up, cause if you don’t do it, someone else might not either.  I love me some me too, but I also know when my behind needs to sit down some dayum where.

Miss USA busts her azz on stage . . . July 13, 2008

dayum. 

 Isn’t the whole point of being in the darn Miss Universe pageant is to be able to walk on stage in your fancy dress.  And to add insult to injury, Ms. Stewart’s dress had the least skirt material than pretty much every other finalist.  All of these women come out in dress that had layers and layers of flowing material.  Several of them had some many beautiful layers of skirt and train they did “Mahagony” spins (shout out for you Diana) on stage.  First, they have to call her twice, then when she appears, her dress is pretty simple on the bottom with a skirt that is barely a wisp or two of material.  And then she steps out to begin her walk and literally falls on her azz on the first step.  To her credit, she did get right up, clap, keep smiling and walking.  She still managed to score a 8.050.  Miss Italy must feel real salty, she came out a few people after her, managed not to bust HER azz and only scored a 7.729.

By the way, some of them had some pretty naked dresses.  Miss Dominican Republic pretty much had on a sheer body stocking with strategically placed bling and Miss Mexico’s dress was pretty much a sheer flesh collored top with some well placed crystals and a flowing skirt attached.  Not sure if that would fly in the Miss America pageant.  But this one is run by Donald Trump.  Its only a matter of time before any number of participants gets caught doing something that ultimately leads to playboy anyway.

Is this necessary. . . really? . . . June 27, 2008

Baldwin Hills?  Seriously.

As if there was a need for “The Hills” on MTV, BET follows that up with a black verson on BET.  I know, I know, this isn’t the first seaosn, but I didn’t have a blog then.  LOL!

Hot mess on a stick, for real.  I don’t mind fake reality, after all, ya’ll know I watch the gutter butt of really shows.  But this is ridiculous.  And no, I don’t understand the fascination with The Hills either.  You can practically see their brain cells struggling for air.