My Life Trip

My thoughts on . . . well, pretty much everything.

The Marriage Bubble, Single Friends, and other stuff . . . January 5, 2008

Filed under: Family,Friends,My social commentary — jden723 @ 5:55 pm
This is my first utter.  it grew out of a great conversation I was having with Barrister.  Enjoy! 

Mobile post sent by jden723 using Utterz.  Replies.  mp3
 

One Response to “The Marriage Bubble, Single Friends, and other stuff . . .”

  1. Missy Says:
    January 7, 2008 at 2:59 pm

    I am very intrigued by this conversation. As a singleton, there have been certain instances where I have felt almost discriminated against because I am not married or in a very significant relationship.

    I have had a couple of friends who stopped talking to me outright right after the wedding – or they no longer want to spend time with any of their single friends. I even had one person tell me that she wants her marriage to be healthy and her minister told her that she should surround herself with other married people because her relationships with single people will interfere with her marital relationship. Or I had a friend who would have parties at her house where she would send out invitations to the married people and casually mention the event to the single people in the conversation – almost as if we did not deserve an invitation at all.

    I have always been confused by this – but I think it stems from the way society pressures women to identify themselves almost as a reflection of their relationships with others – so you have people whose primary identity is “wife” “mother” or even “girlfriend” or “baby’s mamma.” It is almost like once you are married or otherwise in a relationship, people think you have to be immersed in “married life” or that particular relationship and lose an independent identity. It is interesting that men rarly feel this pressure. How many times have you had a male co-worker that you did not even know was married, engaged, or a father. Not because they were hiding it, but because they talk about other things besides those relationships.

    Luckily, I know enough women who have bucked this trend or have been in marriages long enough to feel secure with having relationships with single people. I am blessed to have both married and single friends. But I actually think this is a testimony to the depth of these friendships and the complexity of these people and their interests.

    As for the weight-loss schemes, leave the phen-phen, GNC plans, and Vitamin B shots alone.

    Reply

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